This Little Piggy Went Crazy

I was reading my Bible when my mind reminded me that I should write a new column today. Yeah, my mind wonders a lot that way. It is frustrating to be trying to concentrate on The Word, only to realize your mind went somewhere else two verses ago. The same thing happens when I try to pray. I'll be into a serious prayer, when at some point I'm shocked to realize my brain is singing, "She'll Be Comin' Around The Mountain When She Comes". My mind has a mind of its own and I haven't been able to corral it all my 62 years.

Anyway, my mind recalled a column I wrote years ago about what happened when I asked God if there was anything funny in the Bible. Where but from God, did people get their senses of humor? So why wasn't I hearing pastors quote scriptures and tell stories from the Bible that left me giggling, if not cracking up? So I double-dog dared God to show me something in the Bible that would make me laugh. And I used the method all we well seasoned, mature Christians use when we just have to know something. No, I didn't fast or meditate or call others wise in God's ways to join me in this search. I closed my eyes, randomly opened my Bible and put my finger down right on Mark 5:1. God had taken the dare. I began reading. At verse 13 I burst into laughter. I had read this story before and somehow missed the outrageous humor of it. Holding my side as tears rolled down my cheeks, I had to say, okay God, I give. You win. You are hilarious!!

As I began reading this story, a screen came into my mind and I watched the whole episode as I read, just as though I was seeing it live. Jesus got out of a boat and was met by a lunatic. The guy had demons. He hung out at the graveyard and ran through the tombs screaming and cutting himself with stones. Imagine being accosted by a naked* bloody man, running through the tombs screaming every time you went to place flowers at a tomb. It would certainly cut down on Memorial Day visits. There is no telling how much he was costing the town florist. Burials there were likely quick and poorly attended. The townspeople, who just hated that this freak was in their neighborhood, would capture him and put him in chains. But his demons were so strong, he broke the chains and went back to the tombs making enough noise to wake the dead.

When Jesus arrived on shore, his greeting party was a pack of demons inside this poor guy's body. They knew who Jesus was. They called him "Son of the Most High God". When he asked the man his name the demons said "My name is Legion for we are many." Then they begged Jesus not to cast them out. I can't speak for Jesus but I know he had good reasons for his actions. And since God said this was funny, I can't help thinking Jesus chuckled when he decided to do what the demons asked. There was a herd of 2000 pigs on a nearby hillside and the demons asked to be sent into them. Jesus agreed.

Think about 2000 pigs just lying back, giving a grunt now and then, maybe rolling in the mud, cooling it up on this hill. I imagine the guys tending to them didn't have a lot of excitement in their work day. Unless a squealer alerted them to a problem, another pig hogging their mud spot maybe, the keepers probably had time to lean against a rock or tree and doze. I'm thinking that was the situation on this day. The weather was probably pretty warm and the pig herders were appreciating the shade and any nice breeze that came along. Like the pigs, some may have been fully asleep and some in the dreamy zone. I'm seeing this all on the movie screen in my mind, remember, in full color.

So Jesus says to the demons, okay, go! And he watches with great anticipation and a smile. Suddenly all 2000 lazy pigs jump to their feet, squeal like banshees and take off in mass, down the hill, over a cliff and into the water! The piercing sound of 2000 pigs squealing, struck the lazy herders like lightening. Up they jumped, dazed and confused, in time to watch stunned and helpless as all that pork, running as fast as their short little legs could carry them, launched themselves off that cliff. Talk about when pigs fly! This scene put me in stitches. I could see the looks on the herders' faces, and watching 2000 porkies raining off a cliff into the water below is a sight I can't describe. They cried wee, wee, wee, all the way down.

I don't think people out on the river fishing ever saw such a sight. I can see a couple of guys in a boat who've fished all day in all their best spots with no success. Sitting facing away from the shore talking about giving up they suddenly hear these monumental splashes behind them. Imagine their reaction. Instead of a massive school of huge bass or catfish they jerk around to see pigs pouring over a cliff. Being Jews, who consider pigs unclean and taboo, they probably said something like "Oe vey"! There goes my career, and I still have 25 payments on this boat!" (excuse my Yiddish. I'm clueless)

Then there were the people hanging around the area who witnessed the whole thing. Big eyes and dropped jaws everywhere. They were so traumatized they asked Jesus to leave. He scared the wits out of them after seeing the sausage stampede he caused. And what about the poor guy who had been possessed? He suddenly has his own mind and realizes he is bloody, muddy, naked and empty. Wow, what to do first? Here you are, naked in front of God and everybody. Do you run to the nearest rock to hide behind, or try to cover yourself with your hands? What this fellow wanted to do was go with Jesus. But Jesus told him to go and tell everybody what God had done for him. Other accounts explain that he got dressed and did what Jesus said. He was no longer empty either. God had taken the place left by the demons. And what about those ninnies? Well, they drowned. I can see Jesus with a quiet smile on his face as he sent the fellow off to his family a whole person. I can hear God whisper "great job son", with a voice Jesus recognized as amused and pleased.

This story was great fun for me when I was shown a different perspective that day. But it is primarily an event that has a great many important lessons. I hope you will study it for that reason. But I know God won't mind if you have a little fun with it too.

*Luke 8:26-37
Matthew 8: 28-34 also gives an account that has two men being healed