Elvis Doesn't Live Here Anymore, But He Visits

I’ve been in Blog Fog for a while, but a recent episode I’ve written about on Facebook I will now expound upon for this outlet.

Husband Paul got tickets for the Elvis Birthday Tribute Artist Spectacular for my Christmas present. I had heard nothing of this event and had no idea what to expect. it was on January 16th, 8 days after what would have been Elvis’ 76th birthday. I was surprised as we entered the Brown Theater in Louisville to see folks of every age, gender and color. The place was packed. I was well armed with lots of just-in-case stuff for a woman of my age and condition; lots of tissues, gum, mints, money, toothpicks, safety pins, cell phone, makeup, mirror, and a big bottle of water among other things. It was all in the bottomless blackness of my Johnny Depp bag; a plastic, waterproof carryall that carried all I needed and gave me and others something nice to look at since Johnny's face covered its side. It was when Paul dropped me off in front of the theater that I realized the one thing I forgot. (It is mandatory to forget one thing that you will need after packing every possible thing that you might need). Just as I entered the lobby someone to my left caught my eye. A cocked hat, scarf hanging over lapels, large banded watch and dark thin mustache moved through a crowd of people just entering. I quickly turned and instantly reached inside my Johnny Depp bag to grab my camera to snap a picture of ???? …..Almost Johnny Depp (a celebrity lookalike)! That’s when I realized I had forgotten my camera! Curses! Of all the things to forget, how could I have forgotten my camera?? I had been a reporter for goodness sakes! I was going to see Almost Elvis, for goodness sake! I could have left the deodorant at home, or the extra socks and gloves. I could have left the bottle of hand sanitizer because I had a big container of pop up antibacterial wipes. The extra underwear, toothbrush, dental floss, nausea, diarrhea (maybe not those), headache, foot pain, back spasm, heartburn, cough and sneezing pills might have been mislaid. But how could I have forgotten my camera?? Almost Elvis and Almost Johnny Depp in one place! Good grief, what if there had been an Almost Paul Newman??? There I was and there was Almost Johnny, standing three feet from me, (and about a foot too short) and me with no camera!

I had to face the entire upcoming show knowing I wouldn’t have a camera. But I told myself, it probably wouldn’t ‘matter anyway. Likely there would be a bunch of guys like my gas station guy. He wore over sized sunglasses day and night, a jet black toupee and fake sideburns. He was about 5’6” and weighed about 200 lbs and mumbled, “I’m a hunk a, hunk a burnin love, ooo, a hunk a hunk a burnin love ooo...” as he pumped (or passed) gas. Bless his heart, he tried.
We had decent seats 12 rows back near the aisle. Right up till the lights dimmed and the band hit their first notes, no one sat in front of me. Experience told me this would change. Of course experience knows best. A young miss with long wide hair (think Rosanne Rosanna Danna) and her tall wide haired young man (think Art Garfunkle) sat in the two seats in front of me leaving me a V shaped viewing space about the size of the largest A on an eye chart. I accepted that and sat back for whatever it was I was going to see.

What I saw was nothing akin to what I expected. My gas station guy only appeared in several audience members. On the stage appeared a young, slender, full voiced, high cheeked smiling 19 year old Elvis Aaron Presley. He spoke sweetly, danced across the stage with legs, hips and guitar fully engaged. He talked to the ladies down front who screamed and reached for him. He took their hands and let them kiss his cheek. He sang the hits of the 50s and did his performances on The Ed Sullivan Show perfectly. He told of Mr. Sullivan intervening with the producer so Elvis could keep a promise he made to his mother to sing her favorite sacred song. Then he sang “Peace In The Valley” with Elvis’ sincerity and quality of voice that brought a standing ovation and tears to my eyes. This young man spoke right to my heart as he portrayed Elvis through his Army years. I had just one problem during this time. Rosanne and Art obviously had come to the wrong place. This wasn’t a drive in. Nor was it their basement couch, motel room or science lab. My viewing space was constantly being closed as they were overcome with curiosity and just had to explore each others lips, tongues, ears, noses, necks and eyeballs. While this went on I had to strain my neck to get my head in a position where my eyeballs could do what they were there to do. Needless to say, near the end of the first Elvis’s act, I was about to let my mouth do a little experiment of its own. But, young Elvis announced he would perform a favorite of Elvis’ at that time which was “America The Beautiful”. With no prompting, the audience stood for the song, everyone that is but Art and Roseanne. They were either oblivious to anything going on around them, unpatriotic or anti Elvis. Somehow they had misplaced themselves. It took me a little longer to stand because I was holding my coat and my Johnny Depp bag. So when I finally got myself in a position to stand, I forgot to grasp my armload to keep Johnny from swinging out from my body. Ooops…. It gave a little tap, possibly a whap, to the back of Art’s head, which would have been way too high had Art been standing. Had that been the case, the tap would have barely grazed Art’s coat. Oh well, these things happen in crowded theaters.

Next came the Elvis of 1968 and the TV special where he wore the black leather suit and looked like a Greek God. This young version was too short and too muscular. I wasn’t going to like him because Elvis looked soooo great in that special, tall and slender, which I’d seen many times. But then the new guy sat down on a stool just like Elvis and took a guitar from a band member, just like Elvis, and just like Elvis began playing it and singing, “Lawdy, lawdy, lawdy Miss Claudie, you sure look good to me…. “ His head, his body movements, his playing, his voice were right on the mark. He chuckled and grinned that lifted lip grin, adjusted the guitar and in less than two minutes it didn’t matter how short he was, he was Elvis. A guy behind me was in Elvis Heaven. He sang along and said every uh, hu, ah, yeah, eh, er, huh, that came from the stage. And the women moved forward in droves. They handed short Elvis their scarves so he could wipe them over his chest and hand them back. Without the guitar he moved across the stage like a prowling tiger, a thing of rhythm, muscle, and soul as he delivered Elvis’ voice perfectly. He sang the gospel songs Elvis loved with tenderness and purity. For the second time, I was wondering, why am I shedding tears?

The final Elvis took him through his Los Vegas and touring days. He was tall and lean, and beautiful, and, unbelievably even better than the first two young men. The music and lights built the anticipation ala Vegas. Star Wars trumpeted. Timpanis thundered. And finally, the tempo reached leg-shaking speed and there he was, in his light reflecting sequined blue, high collared jump suit. “Traaaaain, traaain. Sixteen coaches long…boomp boom, boom…. Traiin, traiiin, sixteen coaches long, booomp, boom boom… “ eeeeee! We were on the Elvis train and riding fast. His leg shaking constantly, he went through that song with grit and soul raising the energy in that theater to roof lifting levels. Feverish females filled the aisles, some hopping, some hoping. Some were shuffling their walkers down the aisle in time with the music, suddenly diverting directions toward the restroom signs. Others, possibly previous patrons were better prepared. They wore Depends (a little tidbit I picked up waiting in line after the show). Young women were lining up at the stage adjusting their proudly displayed trophy bosoms. Older women were adjusting their teeth to assure a kiss wouldn’t dislodge them and leave The King with his most unique souvenir. He and Tom Jones did trade stories after all. At least that’s what he said.

This young man was like Elvis cloned. I can’t imagine anyone other than Elvis himself doing this part of the show any better. Every aspect of Elvis’ talent was represented beautifully. He sang country. He sang blues. He covered songs from Willie Nelson to Chuck Berry, Bobby Darin to Hank Williams and Barbra Streisand to Ray Charles. And once again, he sang the music that meant the most to him. He sang gospel. When he sang Amazing Grace, the silence was reverent, broken only by sniffling here and there throughout the audience. This young man spoke of his own admiration for Elvis and his enormous talent. And it was evident he had studied every aspect of Elvis’ shows. It was not difficult to believe it was 1974 or 75 and I was watching a very alive Elvis at his best.

Fortunately, the misplaced couple up and left when Elvis sang “An American Trilogy”. I think by then the clue bird had landed and they realized they needed to be at another location. Funny, we were all standing and applauding when they left. If by chance they read this, be assured young folk, the applause was for the song.

If you appreciate Elvis Presley’s music and would like to experience a great evening, I recommend you go to elvisbirthdaytribute.com. There you can find more information about the show. I believe they will be back next year. Hopefully I’ll be there, with my camera.